Once Lost, Once Remembered
by Annie Remmy Aurum
Summary: Sebastian Morganstern is reminded of the harsh cruelty of his father, and all he could have had with his sister, the sibling relationship. Every time Sebastian thinks of his Clary, the sister he never got. Drabble collection, Rated for mentions of child abuse. (Cover by Cassandra Jean, of course.)
1. McDonalds

_**I am baaaaack!**_

**_With this angsty Sebastian Morganstern fic._**

**_I can't help it, I just have a lot of feels._**

**_This is probably the dumbest authors note ever._**

**_!ALSO- I have a YouTube channel now! Random, right? Anyway, I'd love it iy'all checked that out. It's theinfinitepigeons It's kind of a collab channel, sorta. I'm Maddie. :D!_**

**_Thats all for now. Here's the story- enjoy... And review? ;D_**

**_Until next time! _**

**_-AnnieRemmyAurum _**

Sebastian Morganstern smiled cruelly over the ring of his medium sized cup. He was sat on a bar still like chair, alone with chicken negates in a small box with the title, "I'm lovin it!"

He loved it, all right. The fact that no matter where you went in the world, there was always a McDonalds down the road. Madrid, Berlin, Prague; it didn't matter. There was always one there. Sebastian liked to go to the nearest McDonalds nice he found a new place to park the apartment and just watch the people. He would watch their emotions, watch the lovers and the friends, the drama and the back stabbing. Who knew a fast food eatery could be so... amusing.

Today, the shop was fairly empty, save himself and three bored employees. As he munched aimlessly on a nugget, he noticed the female worker looking at him. She was pretty enough, with blonde wavy hair and green eyes. She collude be his, for a while, if he wanted her. He didn't. She was too much alike the annoying vampire Camille, at least in looks. He curled his lips back in an amused sneer and she looked away, a blush on her pale cheeks.

As Sebastian turned back to the chicken and sprite combo sat before, two more people walked into the restaurant.

He looked up at them, a slight frown twisting his features. The pair were obviously siblings, sharing dark hair and bright blue eyes, complete with tan skin. They were laughing at something. Sebastian scowled. It was things like this that he missed. He wasn't supposed to be able to feel anything, but he felt this. A dull, yet somehow sharp, ache in his chest that arose whenever he saw siblings. Just siblings in general. Laughing, fighting, playing. It hurt. It always reminded him of what he wanted, what he could have had.

He always knew that he had a sister, but Valentine had always said that when his mother ran away, she took the girl with her. Valentine spoke of his mother- of Jocelyn, Sebastian scowled himself- with a hint of lust in his voice. Was that what family felt for each other? Lust? Sebastian didn't know.

He wondered if family was supposed to be the crack of a whip across a child's back, constant bragging of the better child, the annoyance when spoken to.

No wonder Jocelyn had taken Clarissa and ran.

Sebastian looked down at the small meal on the table and scowled, no longer feeling his appetite. He hopped off the stool, casually picking up his tray and dumping it in the trash bin next to his seat. He sauntered past the siblings, glaring at them. They had no idea. No idea of how lucky they were.


	2. Hunting Alone

_**Okay, after several requests... I'm going to continue this!**_

_***cues for applause and cheering***_

_**Anyway, this is basically going to be a drabble collection, as it says in the updated story summery thing. It's going to be a random times in Sebastian's life, basically.**_

_**Let's end this rambling and get on with the story!**_

_**Enjoy, and review! ;D**_

_**AnnieRemmyAurum- OUT!**_

Sebastian Morganstern looked around. It was dark out, late at night. He shivered from the slight chill.

_Don't act like that, don't shiver, _he thought to himself. _Daddy- Valentine- won't like that._

Even if he wasn't supposed to show signs of it, he was freezing. The temperature had to be below freezing, and he was only wearing jeans and a tee-shirt.

_I bet Jace would be allowed to wear a big coat, _the ten year old thought to himself. He smiled- from what he'd overheard his father saying to Pangborn, Daddy would be all his soon. He wouldn't have to keep hearing about perfect Jace, the angel boy with a good heart. Not a demon, like Sebastian.

The sound of howling broke through the night. Sebastian's Seraph Blade felt heavy in his hands. For the first time, Valentine had taken him hunting. To prove his worth and show what he could against a real opponent. Sebastian looked around, but there was no sign of his father and the werewolves were only getting closer.

_"I'll meet you here," _Valentine had said. Sebastian scowled to himself, a look that didn't belong on a young boy's face. Well, where was he then? He had probably loosing track of time, talking until Jace had dropped and fell asleep. Valentine was probably reading his angel to sleep, forgetting about the demon he'd left to the wolves.

The howling was getting closer, and Sebastian suddenly wished that his blade wasn't glowing. It probably attracted the wolves. Of course, he would kill them, but he would rather avoid them. After all, what ten year old wants to face down a pack of fully grown werewolves- by themselves?

He stared into the dark, the sky above the same blackness that was reflected in the boy's own eyes. His white hair seemed to glow with a demonic light, as if calling the wolves to him.

For the first time that night, Sebastian felt excited. Maybe he could face down these werewolves without his father! Maybe then, Daddy would be proud of him. He didn't think Jace could face a pack of werewolves. _Come and get me._

Sebastian looked back into the darkness spread out in front of him, but this time with a hint of defiance in his gaze, a superior smirk. Anything angel boy could do, he could do better. After all, why play angel when you could raise hell?

Up ahead, just in the distance, he could see the wolf pack. Without enhanced vision, he wouldn't have seen them at all; the moon was dim for a full moon and they were at least a half mile away. The wolves sleek coats were pitch black, another thing making them hard to see.

Sebastian wasn't afraid, not anymore. He smirked at the wolves as a slight breeze rustling his sleek hair. The scent of blood traveled on it- they must have made a kill. Hopefully he wouldn't be their next meal.

The werewolves drew closer, and Sebastian starter to panic. Where was his daddy? Why wasn't he there? Were the wolves really going to eat Sebastian if they failed?

_"You're just a monster, it probably wouldn't matter. If only I could have raised Clarissa, then it would matter." _ Valentines' voice echoed in his head. The little ten-year-old had to fight the wolves. He had to prove that he was a fighter and mattered and was just as good as Clarissa. The sister he'd never even met, who was so much better than him. Then again, he had never met Jace either, and the same was true for him. He wondered if Jace and Clarissa had punishments like his. The cracking of a whip as a warning; a harsh slap when he misspoke. He wondered if Jace and Clarissa got punished when they cried. Maybe they got held and told that they were okay. He figured. Those two were probably weaklings, not strong fighters like Sebastian was.

"Sebastian!" The voice cut through the night like a knife. Sebastian took his eyes off the wolves, wheeling around and swinging the Seraph Blade like he'd been taught to.

Standing before him was, of course, his father. Whom he almost turned into a Shadowhunter shish ka bob. Oops.

"Father-"He started, pulling his blade away from his dad.

"No time," Valentine said, cutting him off. It was dark, but Sebastian could still make out the frown on his father's features, the sweat gleaming in the small light provided by the moon overhead. "Come on."

Valentine reached out and took Sebastian by surprise, grabbing the small boy's hand and dragging him from the clearing.

The wolves were still howling behind them.


	3. Stares and burns

_**Gah, I'm sorry this is rather short! I couldn't really think of anything and I wanted to get a chapter up. Ten minutes later, here we are!**_

_**Also, I'm running out of ideas for this story. Already. Slow clap for AnnieRemmyAurum, everyone. Anyways, if you guys could leave me a prompt or something with your review, that would be amazing! You'll get credit for it, of course. :)**_

_**I think that's all. I'm off to read Will Grayson, Will Grayson!**_

_**AnnieRemmyAurum- OUT!**_

Sebastian Morganstern sat on the stool, carefully examining the pale white walls of the manor house.

_This is where Jace and I live. You could have lived here, too, if you weren't a monster. Look carefully. _

So that was what Sebastian was doing; studying the manor house as carefully as he could whilst filled with rage. Jace this, Jace that. Valentine was _Sebastian's _father, not Jace's! So why did he love Jace and not Sebastian? When Valentine had first brought Sebastian to the house about an hour ago, the small white haired boy had hoped to get a glimpse of the perfect little angel Jace. So far, however, he hadn't seen any trace of Jace, not even a picture. He didn't think that Valentine would have stooped so low as sentimentalities such as family photos, but Sebastian was dying to get a glimpse of Jace. To see what he wasn't, what was it about him Valentine loved more than he loved his own son? His own flesh and blood! Yet, he loved the angel boy better.

_Only I could love a demon._

_But daddy, _Sebastian thought, _do you even love me at all? _

Somewhere inside him, he heard a cold voice saying, _No. He doesn't. Why should he? You're just a monster._

And so Sebastian stared. He stared for a long time, trying not to imagine the joy burning the manor house down would bring him.


End file.
